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When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
Smile
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Do not.
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Not one.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.
written by How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon

(Source: latenightcornerstore, via mathsdebater)

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.


written by It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

(via mathsdebater)

It’s Saturday night where I am and I’m guessing that a lot of you are going to end up drunk, high or in a stranger’s bed. There’s something you all need to remember; you don’t need that bottle of vodka to talk to that cute boy, you don’t need to get high in a club bathroom to escape the demons of your past. No matter how many times that cute boy says he’ll love you in the morning, he’s lying. Yes, it will feel nice to be needed for the night but when morning comes that boy will tell you to leave and that is was fun but he will never call you. He will leave you and you’ll go back to feeling empty. Now I don’t know this from personal experience but I’ve seen enough friends peel themselves off the bathroom floor to know that this is not what you need. If you’re chasing the high or feeling of drunken bliss, you can find it in other places. If you’re looking for that warm feeling of being needed, you can find it in better places than the bed of that cute boy from the bar. You deserve to be loved forever for who you truly are, not who you are when you’re just trying to forget your life.
written by

To all the girls who deserve so much more.

cp

(via desertings)

I wish someone was to tell me this when i needed it the most 

(via staro-forte)

thank you 👏

(via c-hange)

(via mathsdebater)

Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.
written by

(Source: liberatingreality, via mathsdebater)

hotboyfriend:

Seeing someone slowly lose interest in you is probably one of the worst things ever 

(via coco-moonbeam)

People always say that it hurts at night and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken. But sometimes it’s 9am on a Tuesday morning and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up. And the smell of dusty sunlight and earl gray tea makes you miss him so much you don’t know what to do with your hands.
written by

(Source: oofpoetry, via mathsdebater)

It’s Saturday night where I am and I’m guessing that a lot of you are going to end up drunk, high or in a stranger’s bed. There’s something you all need to remember; you don’t need that bottle of vodka to talk to that cute boy, you don’t need to get high in a club bathroom to escape the demons of your past. No matter how many times that cute boy says he’ll love you in the morning, he’s lying. Yes, it will feel nice to be needed for the night but when morning comes that boy will tell you to leave and that is was fun but he will never call you. He will leave you and you’ll go back to feeling empty. Now I don’t know this from personal experience but I’ve seen enough friends peel themselves off the bathroom floor to know that this is not what you need. If you’re chasing the high or feeling of drunken bliss, you can find it in other places. If you’re looking for that warm feeling of being needed, you can find it in better places than the bed of that cute boy from the bar. You deserve to be loved forever for who you truly are, not who you are when you’re just trying to forget your life.
written by

To all the girls who deserve so much more.

(Source: desertings, via mathsdebater)

You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.
written by

(Source: sittinginawheel, via mathsdebater)